Tag Archives: comedy

John Lewis: The Bear & The Hare

Angry BearThis grizzly bear is doing a pretty good job of aping my reaction to Christmas.

Everyone is going mental for the ‘touching’ John Lewis advert again, which is a blatant Animals of Farthing Hood rip off soundtracked by something no one needed to hear: Lily Allen covering Keane. It’s good, but obviously it doesn’t even come close to melting my ice cold heart or eliciting any kind of Christmas cheer from me. However, this touching tale of cartoon animals does carry an important lesson: if your BFF happens to be an apex predator, you might want to round up a few unwitting friends morsels in the hope that your carnivorous frienemy eats them first. Look how happy the bear is when he sees the meat feast he has woken up to…John Lewis Hare and BearAnyway, enough of my cynicism, here’s the actual advert, which was made by Adam & Eve/DDB and produced by Blinkink and Hornet. The animation really is lovely – and is the result of a lot of hard work – but I’d recommend muting it and playing something more appealing over the top.

Tigers On Tinder

I’ve noticed that a lot of men on Tinder are quite fond of tigers…ImageThis trend is so prevalent that there is even a Tumblr dedicated to it, called Touch My Tiger! Kudos to these guys for noticing it first. Unfortunately, as with any trend, you always get a few bandwagon-jumpers who just don’t get it right…Tinder WannabesGuys, you’re doing it wrong! It’s got to be a REAL tiger. Don’t try and get a picture with a tiger in the wild, though. That would be stupid and dangerous. It’s essential that your tiger prop has been sedated so that annoying backpackers can pose with it. Safety first, and all that.

California Fishing Groups Sue to Stop Sea Otters

Wow. I guess Americans really will try to sue anything.

Luckily, this sea otter doesn’t seem too cut up about it.ImageHe’s like: “Look at all the fucks I give…NONE!”

Whereas this one…OTTSEA_26633_MasterThis one’s thinking: “FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE!”

And this histrionic little dickhead just enjoys a drama.Dramatic Sea OtterAny old drama.

Sneaky Sea OtterBut this pompous sea otter knows his rights. He understands legal strategy better than me. He’s also got a whole load of family money to support him…and a healthy property portfolio to fall back on in case he has to relocate. Smug bastard.

Write It In Your Own Voice

Write It In Your Own VoiceBrilliant series of adverts from Uniball which highlight the merits of sending a handwritten letter and cleverly illustrate what misused fonts say about your message. An advertising campaign which is all about communication and implicit meaning – so meta!Uniball Pen Advert Comic Sans joke Uniball AdvertMy favourite one is ‘Pappy Is Dead’, which makes fun of Comic Sans (the underdog of all fonts) and there is also quite a camp skit deriding the Broadway font, too. The ‘Bust You Out’ version is probably the most effective, because obviously slang sounds so ridiculous when it’s read out in the Queen’s English. It reminds me of the time when James Blunt had to read out some Sean Paul lyrics on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

Great work from TBWA South Africa.

EDIT: This campaign has since disappeared off the face of the Earth/internet, with no explanation. What the fuck, maaan?!

Women Of The Future…

Image“Women of the future will make the Moon a cleaner place to live.”

Damn straight we will! Radical sixties feminism, yeah! Future women – fellow pioneers of space travel, improving another planet through green energy and innovation. Exciting!

Hang on a second. I just re-read it. You mean that women are just expected to clean stuff on the Moon, like we’re expected to on Earth? Oh, shit…

The ‘No Bullshit’ Guide To Interning

One of my articles in the second issue of We Are Collision.Image
The No Bullshit Guide To Interning

So, you wanna be an intern, huh? Haha, as if. Of course you don’t want to be an intern – interning fucking sucks! But chances are that you quite fancy one of those sweeet jobs where going to work doesn’t make you feel like a worthless sack of shit…and sometimes you actually feel like you had a good day! Well, you probably realise by now that, unless you’re incredibly well-connected, smug and privileged, you’re going to have to go and do a bit of slave labour to prove that you’re serious – otherwise, you’re not even going to get a look in. Here are some home truths about interning.

No one gives a fuck about your lame outfit.
So many interning guides seem to stress the importance of ‘looking the part’, which is mostly a load of bollocks. Truthfully, everyone in the office is far too busy to care what you wear, so just wear something smart, practical and comfortable.  A lot of internships involve a fair amount of carrying and lifting (returning those huge bags of samples to a PR agency? Sure.) so you’re going to look like a twat and be totally useless if you’ve shown up wearing a fitted suit or some power bitch heels. Having said this, do make sure you always check the dress code before you start.

You probably won’t get a job out of it.
Hate to break it to you, but getting a job at the end of your internship is highly unlikely. A lot of the time, organisations will say this to keep their interns motivated and focused. Fuck it, some of them even say it in good faith, but a lot of the time there just isn’t the budget for a new member of staff. In all honesty, I know some totally feckless people who’ve happened to get jobs straight after their internships, but it was simply a case of being in the right place at the right time. You need to view an internship realistically, otherwise you will drive yourself mad overanalysing every staff cut, every ‘well done’, every email, every fond look, every ‘you make the best cup of tea’ and you will begin to slowly feel that you’re turning into some kind of psychopathic deluded stalker. Yep. The best you can hope for at the end of your internship is a good reference, some genuine knowledge, new skills and perhaps a few new useful connections. Focus on those things and it might just keep you sane. It’s also prudent to start looking for a new job once you’re two-thirds of the way through your internship.

It’s time to drop all your bad habits from university.
University brings out some really immature qualities in some people. Having to intern five days a week is basically an opportunity to get used to working life. You might only be an intern, but you should still try and act like a professional wherever possible. Maybe it’s time to cut off all those festival wristbands now? They make you look like a bellend anyway.

Say goodbye to your social life!
You might as well just give up drinking for the duration of any internship. It sounds like a total bore but you probably won’t have a lot of choice in the matter – it’s normally a hassle finding money for bus fare when you’re interning, if you end up having one of those nights where you inadvertently blow £100 on sub-standard vodka, taxis and kebabs then you’re going to feel like a total fuckup.

Don’t be a try-hard.
Unless you’ve managed to score one of those cushy numbers where you actually get paid a proper wage, don’t bother doing any of that stuff like taking work home with you or anything like that, which brings me onto my next point…

Don’t be a dosser.
It’s hard, but leave all that social media stuff until your lunch break or when you’ve left for the day. Work diligently while you’re at your internship so that you don’t feel like you’re going to get in trouble for not having completed a task.

Wash regularly and get a reasonable amount of sleep.
This may sound like an unbelievably obvious point to make, but it’s crazy how many interns go to bed at 3am and then drag themselves into work at 9am looking sloppy because they didn’t have time to shower. You remember how I said that no one gives a shit about your outfit? Well, this is still true, but everyone’s going to care that your personal fragrance seems to be: ‘Sweat, vaguely masked by some kind of cheap scent’. Mmm, nice!

You should be enjoying yourself too!
I know I’ve made an intern’s life sound like a hellish existence, but interning is also a way of getting to know the industry you want to work in. If you complete an internship and you’ve had an awful time, it could be that that particular work environment wasn’t right for you; but it could also mean that perhaps your idea of your chosen career path was a little off the mark? Internships give you the chance to get a taste for certain industries without wasting a whole lot of time and training.

You can read the whole second issue of We Are Collision right here.

Satirical Portraits By AleXsandro Palombo

Bambi Fendi ChanelAleXsandro Palombo’s blog, Humor Chic, documents the happenings in the fashion world and beyond. Palombo’s take on the fashion news is both bitchy and funny – think Perez Hilton, but without the irritating omnipresence and with added talent and relevance. His shockingly hilarious pop culture illustrations both celebrate and ridicule fashion’s major players; Hedi Slimane is portrayed digging his own grave as he takes over at Saint Laurent, Anna Wintour cosies up to Barack Obama, along with whole host of far more ludicrous scenarios too.Humor Chic Fashion VillainsDonatella Versace, and John Galliano shortly after he drunkenly proclaimed his love for Hitler.Humor Chic CelebritiesCreatives, musicians and celebrities feature heavily, with the occasional politician or member of the monarchy making sporadic appearances as well. It really seems like when it comes to mockery, Palombo is a man after my own heart – he likes to turn his attention to a bit of everything. Below, he has portrayed Kate Middleton as some kind of power-hungry femme fatale who beats her husband and wants to kill the Queen! I think I kind of prefer her to the real Kate Middleton, who is pretty much the definition of passive, well-behaved marriage material. So blaaah.Humor Chic RoyalsHowever, not all of his portraits are derisive or mean – here is quite a sweet drawing of the late Amy Winehouse that he posted the day after her death.Amy Winehouse aleXsandro Palombo